The Final Days

My "due date" is next Wednesday, but according to my due range, the baby could come at any time. I'm so relieved he made it to 39 weeks!

 

Unfortunately the supposed "nesting instinct" has not kicked in. Instead, the "oh-crap-I-am-officially-full-term-and-we-are-not-ready" realization kicked us into high gear. We got Henry's old infant car seat washed up and installed, ordered and organized all the supplies from the homebirth kit, hung Tate's first mobile, hung up the clothes in his closet (which are all stain-free, former Henry clothes), finalized our recipe binder so my mom has some go-to recipes to cook for our vegetarian/half-gluten-free family when she and my brother are here for ten days, typed up directions related to caring for Henry during the delivery (luckily our friends volunteered to care for our sweet pea), drafted the birth announcement, picked up our room to make it more conducive to post-birth relaxation and healing, ordered a bunch of things from Amazon (like lanolin and nursing pads), and stained our new couch legs so we can hit the ground running when our house is finally ready.

 

I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting, but that's all I've got right now.

 

I'm trying to let go of the fear I feel about the pain of birth. Henry's labor was 45 hours and it hurt for most of those hours. 

 

I don't like when people say, "But second births are so much easier!" because there's no guarantee. And the last thing I want to do is get my hopes up.

 

With Henry's birth, my mantras were things like, "My body was built to do this" and "Surrender." This time, my mantra is something like "This is the last time you have to do this."

 

Sheesh, writing this out makes me realize how cynical I'm feeling!

 

The truth is, I'm not as focused on the birth part as I was with Henry. This time, I'm focused on the infant part. I'm thinking about how to balance my need for healing with Tate's needs as a newborn with Henry's need for support through the transition with our needs to stay connected as a couple with my need to stay on top of developments at work--we'll get through it. We will.

 

As for the house, it looks like it will be done in mid-July. Although the timing won't be great, I've definitely stopped worrying about it.

 

I mainly spend a lot of time being grateful for our life and immensely thankful for another healthy pregnancy [insert some wood-knocking].

 

 

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Father's Day Recap

 

On Friday afternoon I realized that Father's Day was--um--right around the corner. Henry and I have a tradition of making Matt a card with one of Henry's footprints. But beyond that, I was clueless. I brainstormed ideas as I drove to pick up Henry from daycare. I thought of just the thing to buy Matt, but then I decided that I didn't want to set a precedent of buying him a big present for Father's Day (since it's already hard enough to come up with good ideas for Christmas and his birthday).

 

So I tabled the present idea and instead decided to have a "sweet treat" theme for the entire weekend. Henry and I rushed to Whole Foods to grab a gluten-free muffin mix for breakfast on Saturday, gluten-free cupcakes for Saturday night, and gluten-free cinnamon rolls for Sunday morning.

 

Matt loves sweet things, but we don't usually keep those kinds of things around the house. I think it was the perfect way to celebrate all the sweetness he brings into our lives.

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Meal Plan Update

 Master sheet with drop down menu

Final shopping list with the selected meals + standard list

Printed shopping list

 

I'm so happy that my initial enthusiasm about our new format for meal planning still stands! We've been using the new approach consistently for two months.

 

On Sunday afternoon, Henry and I open up the Excel document and click on the five meals we want to eat that week. We also click on our "Standard List." Excel then spits out our shopping list for the week (organized by section of the grocery store). We print and we're on our way to the grocery store!

 

When I explained the system to my neighbor, she said that when she was growing up, her family ate the same five meals every week. While I absolutely understand the drive to make things as easy as possible, I also don't want to drag my family into a rut. That's why the trick to our new meal planning system is going to be pushing ourselves to add new recipes from time to time so our repertoire is broad and interesting. It's easier said than done because a) we are lazy cooks who want a meal to take 30 minutes from start to finish b) we are cheap cooks who don't want to spend much money on a ton of ingredients c) we are vegetarian d) Matt has a gluten allergy and e) we are kind of snobby about ingredients and don't like to take too many shortcuts by starting with processed foods.

 

Aaahhh!

 

Anyway, I'm declaring my intention here so I make it a habit: I need to regularly try out new recipes to identify more candidates for our repertoire. A concrete next step would be to add a food blog to my reader. Any ideas for fast, fresh, vegetarian recipes?

 

In the meantime, I'll share a recipe we added to our repertoire: fried rice. (I apologize if I've already shared this!) We don't use celery, carrots, or peas, but we add shredded cabbage, another egg, and edamame. We also use brown rice instead of white. It's delicious! It's even better the next day...

 

For those of you who are interested, you can download our meal planning template here. The actual content won't be particularly useful because the ingredient lists are based on the recipes we have in our binder, but the formatting might come in handy.

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Montessori Moments: 2 Years, 3 Months

These "Montessori Moments" posts are meant to highlight some of the ways we implement the Montessori method in our home. Many of the activities that are featured--cooking, cleaning together, going out into nature, etc.--overlap with other parenting philosophies or might seem like things that parents just do with their children intuitively. I've still chosen to highlight them here because they are integral to the Montessori approach to parenting and education and fit within a comprehensive continuum of activities that support children as they undergo the important work of forming themselves. For more information about incorporating Montessori into the home, I recommend How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way for a basic overview. For more insight into Montessori as an educational philosophy, I recommend Montessori Today. When trying to implement Montessori with infants and toddlers, I recommend Montessori from the Start and my favorite resource, which is a DVD documentary of Montessori at home with a 20 month old called Edison's Day.

Montessori Moment #1: Vacuuming the Floor

• The other night after dinner, Henry climbed out of his high chair, retrieved his vacuum, and began running it over the kitchen floor because he had gotten some food on the floor during dinner. It was such a beautiful moment on so many levels. I love the Montessori emphasis on the connection between competence and confidence. Between the ages of 0 and 6, children are literally working on the formation of their "selves" and constructing their personalities. When they are given opportunities to do the things that the adults around them are doing, they build their self-confidence. He is most successful when we give him child-size tools that he can manipulate. We bought this one at Montessori Services, but you can buy any sweeper that has a segmented handle. When you assemble it, you simply leave out the middle piece of the handle to shorten it for toddlers.

Montessori Moment #2: Peeling Bandaids

• Henry has been getting gobbled up by mosquitoes this year and he frequently scratches his bites until they bleed. To prevent this, we cover them with bandaids to let them heal more quickly. Henry loves peeling the bandaids himself (he says it's like peeling a cheese stick). The process takes him forever from start to finish, but we wait patiently so that he can continue to build his fine motor skills in authentic ways, strengthen his focus and concentration, and develop his confidence.  

Montessori Moment #3: Hanging the Mobile

• We are getting ready to welcome baby Tate any day now.  Henry and I hung up a black-and-white mobile for him. I made the mobile for Henry (using this metal mobile as a base), following Montessori principles. First, the mobile is designed to be looked at from the bottom up. I'm frequently surprised by how many nursery mobiles are easier for the adult to see from the side than the baby to see lying underneath it! The mobile is simple with only five separate elements (Montessori recommends about 3-5 to avoid over-stimulation and to help the baby develop focus, concentration, and the ability to track objects). The mobile moves with air currents as opposed to batteries. The mobile is made with abstract pictures (or realistic pictures) as opposed to fantasy pictures because babies are trying to absorb and understand the concrete world. Since the first mobiles in the series are used only when the baby is looking at them (as opposed to batting at or grabbing), I was able to screw only a lightweight hook into the ceiling. I made the cards with thick black-and-white paper. A variety of mobiles is an essential part of implementing Montessori with a newborn. The mobiles provide visual stimulation as they spend time flat on their backs with the freedom to move their arms and legs. Mobiles are considered their first "work."

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When Good Is Good Enough

I've talked a little about how I'm trying to be very intentional about the things I replicate about my pregnancy with Henry and the things that I let go. For example, it was important for me to start a scrapbook for the new baby during my pregnancy, just like I did for Henry. I also made the new baby a simple quilt like I did for Henry.

A while ago, I stated my intention to also make a pillow for his bed. My reasoning was more aesthetic than sentimental; I think Montessori floor beds can look pretty plain. For Henry I designed a little house pillow. This time around, I wanted to use a bigger and more comfortable pillow for breastfeeding in the middle of the night (after about the two-month mark when the baby starts sleeping in his own room). I settled on this design, which I was excited about because I was going to learn how to do piping.

I bought the pillow early on during a trip to IKEA but started dragging my feet about buying fabric. I didn't want to spend money on new fabric, but I also wasn't happy with anything in our existing collection.

And then I hit 36 weeks and started fretting about my lack of preparation. I definitely think I was overcome with panic rather than the classic nesting urge. I finalized our to-do list, starting shopping for non-perishable labor snacks, set up a little lamp with a dimmer switch for breastfeeding, ordered our birthing kit, delegated tasks to Matt, organized our bedroom, etc.

I also decided it was time to do something about the pillow (or lack thereof). I went into our craft room (which also functions as our guest room), and laid down on the futon that we had recently set out for out-of-town guests. I must have laid there for a solid 15 minutes just staring at our tupperware bins full of fabric. These days, it feels so much better to lie down than to stand up. I had serious trouble mustering the motivation to move.

So I didn't. I just lay there and tried to figure out what I wanted to do about the pillow. I happened to be laying on an old pillowcase from IKEA (which I bought in 2003 when I first moved to Houston), and that's when the idea hit me. Why not repurpose one of them into the baby's new pillowcase?

I had to sew two straight lines to decrease the width and height of the pillowcase to make it fit the new pillow. Then I trimmed the excess fabric, turned it right-side-out, put it on the pillow. And voila! A simple, inexpensive solution (that just happens to have sentimental value!).

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Still Dreaming of an Intentional Neighborhood

I know, I know. This post is going to make it sound like I'm never content with what's right in front of me.

Here we are on the verge of moving into an awesome house that we had built on a half-acre of land at the end of a cul-de-sac that backs up to a creek. And I'm about to start talking about our next house after that. 

Seriously? 

Well, yes and no. On the one hand, I am so eager to put down roots (which is my mantra for the year) and to build ourselves the most amazing little sanctuary. And we're definitely moving forward with this plan (and we're not going to hold back, simply because we might move in the future). 

On the other hand, I'm still dreaming and scheming about living in a co-housing community (or, at the very least, a little intentional pocket neighborhood). I worked really hard to find this (and then create it) in Austin, but I just couldn't make it work. But I don't want to give up on the idea. At our current rental house, we have the most amazing neighbors ever. Henry and I head over to their backyard several times a week and spend hours on end just hanging out. Henry explores and I chat. It's such a beautiful and relaxing way to spend an afternoon. Of course you can create this with neighbors (case-in-point) accidentally, but I'd like to create it intentionally.

The other day, Matt was talking about how he'd like to get a weekend house on the lake or how he'd like to find lakefront property in Austin someday. And that's when the idea hit me: Matt and I can save up $50,000 (and find others who can save $50,000 and are interested in community), pool our money, and purchase riverfront property approximately 20-25 minutes east of Austin. Then we can subdivide the land into separate lots and each build our own house at our own pace.

I have no idea how we could afford to live in our almost-built house while building another house, but I'm going to let this idea simmer in the back of my mind....

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Reflection & Rejuvenation: June

Holy moly. It is highly likely that I will give birth this month. Can you believe it? I'm officially due on June 26th, but it kind of seems like Tate (probably?) is itching to come out. He's been super-low the entire pregnancy, and my Braxton-Hicks contractions have been increasing. I'm officially full-term today at 37 weeks, but I'm hoping he can hold on until at least 39 weeks, which increases the chances of more positive outcomes. My mom and brother don't arrive until July 4th, which is another reason I hope he doesn't come too early. My last day of official work is June 26th (although I will continue to volunteer as the Executive Director of my non-profit organization). We're anticipating that our house will be complete around mid-July (we have a couple steps of stucco and drywall left, flooring, trim, cabinetry, paint, and landscaping to go). 

The months have literally been flying by. I'm still "making space" in my life for pregnancy with frequent naps and walks (and occasional yoga), but my schedule is just packed between my part-time job at a school, my part-time work to start my own school, picking up Henry every day at 2:45, and blogging.

Let's see how I did with regard to my intentions for the month:

• Enjoy quality family time at my cousin's wedding in North Carolina (on the Outer Banks): Yes! That was an easy one.
• Get all the surveys done on the land for the school, in addition to contracting with an architect and a civil engineer: One survey is done, and I know which architect and civil engineer we want to go with.
• Make significant headway on additional fundraising for the land: Still chugging along!
• Get prepared for our home birth by following all of the steps laid out by our midwife: The birth kit has arrived from this store, and I have a list posted on our whiteboard. Now I need to work on it!
• Work through the Hynobabies Self-Study Course to master some relaxation techniques in the upcoming months: I went through a lot of rigamarole to borrow someone's book and CDs, and I read through the entire handbook. However, I have not yet started practicing. I'm not sure I can dedicate 30 minutes a day for six entire weeks just to prepare for birth (and this is coming from someone who had a 45-hour first birth). Okay, maybe I'll work on learning one or two relaxation strategies in the next month.
• Find a doula: I'm scheduled to attend a doula speed-dating type event this month.
• Enjoy our little family of three! Yes! Another easy one...

And what are my hopes for this month--my last month of freedom before reverting to living at the very edge of my capacity? (My apologies for the melodrama...)

Did I mention that I've given up all goals of getting organized before we move? Normally, I like to completely purge and organize before moving into a new house. It seems like a total waste to move unwanted stuff into a new home. But I have zero motivation to undertake big organizational projects. This house does not motivate me to organize it at all! I'm hoping that our new house will...

So, with that goal out of the picture, here's what this month looks like:

• Finish preparing for a home birth (and complete everything on my pre-birth to-do list)
• Practice a couple self-hypnosis strategies for relaxing during the birth
• Pick-up and organize the house just enough to help me feel comfortable giving birth at home and spending a couple weeks recovering here post-partum 
• Use the babysitting co-op to go on more dates with Matt
• Take it easy!

Photo Courtesy of the Nikki McClure Calendar

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