Monday, August 2, 2010

Possible Miscarriage?

As I was getting ready for bed last night, I realized that I was bleeding. Earlier that day, I had been reading about how miscarriages usually start with bleeding and are then followed by cramping (I thought it would be the other way around). The book said I should call my healthcare provider immediately if I noticed any blood.

I told Matt that I might be having a miscarriage and that I should just go to bed and rest (it was past midnight where my midwife was). I assured him that there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

I've really been cultivating the ability to contribute to the best "inputs" possible and then relinquish control of the "outputs." For example, through the whole conception process, I did as much as I could to prepare my body, mind, and life for pregnancy, and then I left everything else to the universe, understanding that I couldn't control when conception would actually occur.

It's the same with pregnancy. I can get sufficient rest, take my vitamins, exercise, feed myself, and relax, but I can't do much more beyond that to control the "output" of the pregnancy. I can't stop a miscarriage.

I'm supposing these are valuable lessons to learn for parenthood, too. We can control the inputs (the kind of loving, supportive, nurturing environment we create for our children), but we can't control who our children grow up to be.

I was doing okay as I lay in bed. Then Matt started to shake with tears. So I, too, cried as I fell asleep.



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43 comments:

mish in melbourne said...

oh, fingers and legs crossed for you both. hoping for good news soon xx

mish in melbourne said...

oh, fingers and legs crossed for you both. hoping for good news soon xx

Sarah said...

Ditto-- my thoughts are with you!

Pip said...

Much love and many prayers for you.

Amy Jo said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

amber said...

heartbreak. i am anxiously awaiting good news.

Ceka said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I think the attitude that you are taking towards pregnancy is incredibly helpful, and that it will help you get through whatever you need to face. I hope that everything will be okay for you guys.

Ellie said...

Oh no! I hope you are okay!

Sarah said...

Oh Sara! All of my positive thoughts and energies are being sent to you. Also, a big hug. Know that you are very loved and this community here wants to support you and Matt in whatever way we can.

Liz N. said...

Positive thoughts coming your and Matt's way. Hang in there!

Genevieve said...

Keeping you in my thoughts! Everyone I know who has children had some bleeding early in the pregnancy and everything turned out just fine. IDK if that makes oyu feel any better.

Holley said...

Oh hun I hope that it is not the case for you.
:( Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Sharpiegirl said...

Sometimes bleeding is just the baby burrowing in better, sometimes it's old blood, sometimes you just have it for no reason. It doesn't always mean a m/c. Definately get it checked out though.
Praying for you both.....

Vee said...

I'll be thinking of you today. (I'm sure we all will.)

midwesterngal said...

I will keep you in my thoughts today. Hoping for some good news!

Anonymous said...

i'll be thinking of you today and sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. please keep us posted!!!

Roxanne W said...

I just wanted to say I appreciate you sharing this intimate moment with us. You've been really great about letting everyone into your life. As with everyone else, I'm hoping for the best.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear that. Hopefully it's just some random bleeding and not a m/c.

Going through a miscarriage is very difficult. I just had my second 2 weeks ago. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Eventually you will feel better.

maya938 said...

hoping and praying for the best!

also, thanks for sharing this moment so openly. hearing your thought processes and experiences helps me relate to my friends who have gone through pg (since i have not yet).

Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you and Matt. Your attitude is amazing. If it turns out you've m/c'd you will know you were the best mom you could be for the short life your little one had! Oh, Sara! Hugs & tears.

~J

DinaBear said...

My heart goes out to you and Matt...so so sorry...

Nightfall said...

Big loving electronic hugs.

Kelsey said...

thank you for being willing to share something so personal. Thinking of you and Matt today.

lauren said...

sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
*

Anonymous said...

Hope and pray all will be well.

I had bleeding with my second pregnancy and thought I was miscarrying.... but it stopped after a while and all carried on well. My daughter was born absolutely fine and is now 19 and getting married on Saturday! Another friend bled all through her pregnancy on and off and her son was completely fine too.

Thinking of you both.

Sue Somerset, England

Laura said...

Another e-hug and lots of warm wishes. Hope you were able to get a hold of the midwife and that everything is OK. Big hugs either way. <3

sk said...

Hoping for the best! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us...

Victoria S said...

I am hoping for the best for you. Hopefully this bleeding is just a blip, as that does happen sometimes with pregnancy...

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy back in May - it is a truly singular experience. I am pregnant again, a little over seven weeks. It's...hard. And frightening. And wonderful, which is why we put ourselves through this, I think. I hope you don't have to go through this, but if you do, I am glad to know your husband is there with you.

Aamba said...

You are in my thoughts.

Laura said...

Fingers and toes are crossed for you.

Anonymous said...

Good luck and yes, it could be totally normal. If you're 10 weeks and you've seen a heart beat, it's a 99.95% chance that everything is okay. It's still so hard. Either way, it's nothing you did or didn't do, and like you said, it's out of your hands. Keeping you all in my thoughts. Keep us posted.

Gretchen said...

You, your husband, and your baby are in my prayers.

Miss A said...

Sending lots & lots of love and positive thoughts to you, Matt, and your sweet baby...

Anonymous said...

Sara, what a beautiful and thoughtful piece during a stressful moment. I love your thoughts about inputs and outputs and know I will reflect on this blog entry many, many times in the future.

As someone who experienced a late first trimester miscarriage, I pray you will not join the club... I'll be thinking lots of positive thoughts your way and anxiously awaiting news. From what I know of you through this blog, you are a strong woman with a loving and stable relationship- I know whatever curve balls parenting offers you and Matt, you will make it through with grace and mindfullness.

Therese T. said...

praying for you :(

Jen said...

Sending positive energies your way. I hope very much that the bleeding is no cause for concern and that your pregnancy continues to thrive.

julie said...

thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way....

kat said...

Sending good vibes...

Andrew and Cara said...

sending good thoughts and well wishes your way. :)

Married In Chicago said...

((((hugs)))

katie joe said...

praying for you.

agirl said...

I am so very sorry to hear this, and I sincerely hope the cause is completely innocuous.

Also, this post is rather wonderfully written.

Amber said...

thoughts and strength be with you whatever the outcome.

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