Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Birthday Planning

Picture from my random acts of kindness scavenger hunt birthday party (I even had shirts made)

Our baby is due seven days after my birthday. One week! Even though I don't place much stock in a single "due date" (I think it's much more realistic to establish a "due window"), it's clear that our baby boy and I will have birthdays in very close proximity.

Although I know lots of parents who enjoy celebrating their birthdays around the same time as their children's, I don't think I'll be one of them. I think I would prefer to help my child plan his birthday party in February and then plan my own birthday celebration in an entirely different month. It's just that I really, really like to celebrate my birthday by planning a fun party that brings my friends together (like with random acts of kindness scavenger hunts or retro proms).

That's why it seems logical to me to relinquish my February 9th birthday and start celebrating my half birthday on August 9th instead. This idea makes a lot of people--like my husband--mad. I can't really understand why. I'm not asking for two days to celebrate myself; I'm simply asking to postpone the day by six months.

With that in mind, I need to decide whether I want to have one more February 9th celebration right before our baby is due or whether I want to start the August 9th celebration instead. seems to me that I shouldn't "count my chickens before they hatch" so-to-speak and that I shouldn't rearrange my whole birthday for a baby until he has arrived safely.

With that in mind, I guess I should start planning my February birthday. Matt and I are already planning a bowling baby shower, so we'll need something very different. Maybe I should do something low-key, like go to a slow-foods brunch and a walk in the country event (sponsored by a local farm)? I wonder if they will still have those in February...

Or maybe Matt and I could rent a cabin right outside the city and then invite our friends over for a slow foods brunch and a walk in the country? Ooh...that could be a lot of fun! I could have one more getaway weekend with Matt before our little one arrives. We could relax on Saturday afternoon and evening at the cabin, and then we could cook together on Sunday morning in preparation for the brunch. Oh wait. Given common check-out times, maybe we should stay for two nights and have the brunch on Saturday morning. We'll have to see. Sometimes those places are more lenient.

I'm liking this idea very much!

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Ellie said...

I know you're like, a totally awesome pregnant person, but I'd seriously hazard you against any plan to rent a cabin and host a brunch during your due window. First of all, if you rent a cabin and then go into labor early, you'll be on the hook for the whole deposit, etc. Secondly, you will be very pregnant. In my experience, very pregnant people get very tired in the last stages of their pregnancy and are not up for the things they thought they would be even a month before.

If you want a last getaway, you should go earlier when you can really enjoy it.

Oh, and if your husband hates the idea of celebrating your birthday in August, your friends will probably also think it's silly and not be as into the parties, etc. as you would like. They may not take it as seriously because it's not your "real" birthday.

Anonymous said...

hate to burst your bubble...but once the baby is born your birthdays are going to start taking a backseat to the little ones.
Why not celebrate this birthday 1 month earlier due to your due date then see what happens in the future.
I agree with Ellie on the half birthdays people don't "get it" and wonder why you are having it "again".

Anonymous said...

To be honest, I kinda don't get it. I'm thinking the intent is so that one birthday doesn't overshadow the other but it seems like it wouldn't be too hard to accomplish that goal even if they are celebrated on the correct day. Although I gotta agree with the previous poster, baby's birthday among other things will for sure be in the forefront now.

Kelsey said...

I think this might be one of those things that's just a "wait and see" how you feel. Maybe you will end up really loving sharing a birthday week or month with your child. It might make your birthdays special in a way you don't anticipate. Your child won't be too concious of birthdays for a couple years so you could try out different things - celebrating on different weekends, for example, or celebrating the half birthday.
Also, eventually your child might be very excited to share a birthday with you and if you purposefully don't celebrate your birthday near his that might be confusing or upsetting for him. Just some thoughts that occurred to me!

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Ellie. While I do not have any children, all of my friends and sisters who I have known while they were pregnant were totally low key in those final days. In some cases it was because they were just too tired to do anything, or sometimes way too uncomfortable. As a regular reader of a blog, I know that you are a planner, but maybe this time you'll have to throw caution to the wind and wait until a week or two before your birthday to see what you really want to do in those final days. Whether it's a super low key evening with Matt, or a splurge at the spa, or a big dinner out with friends, I think (especially in those final days!) it will be so important to have a day that you take for yourself to do exactly what you want at exactly that point in time (not what you thought you would want to do 2 months earlier when you planned your birthday, or what you feel like you should do because it's your birthday).

Regarding the half birthday, while I think it's a totally interesting and novel idea, I'm not sure it would work, as you're already receiving negative feedback from those close to you. While I respect and understand your reasoning for the half birthday celebrations, I have a sneaky suspicion that when your new baby boy enters your life you will be glad that your birthdays are so close... it will be like a week long celebration of another year of life and your beautiful (growing) family!

Emily said...

Hi Sara. I usually lurk, but I just had to comment.

Please, don't "move" your birthday. You, Sara, are going to become a mother, but that doesn't mean that you need to relenquish every aspect of your identity, including your OWN date of birth, to your kiddo.

I have full confidence that you'll be able to differentiate between your bithdays, logistically, or, as Anonymous said above, enjoy the potentially week-long celebration of life in your household every year.


Carrie said...

I went into labor on my husband's birthday (Feb. 17th) and had our son on Feb. 19th. Plus Valentine's Day is the 14th. It's a busy time (includng President's Day and school vacation someday), but we had no problem celebrating everyone this past year. Of course I, personally, believe that celebrating adult birthdays with elaborate parties is not necessary or even desirable, except maybe for the decades. My own birthday is December 24th, and people have suggested that I consider celebrating it in June so as not to be overshadowed with Christmas, which has always seemed ridiculous to me. June 24th is not my birthday. My friends and family have always "celebraated me" on December 24th to my satisfaction. Regardless of what you do with regard to the party, you will receive cards, presents, e-mails, hugs, and "Happy Birthdays" from anyone who knows and cares about you ON your birthday--those are the real celebrations in my view, not a party. Given that, why not pick any old day to have a fete with friends since I'm sure that's the real reason you like the party, not so attention can be focused on you?

Carrie said...

What I tried to say in that last sentence is that I'm sure that you don't treat a party as a chance for everyone to be focused on you. Rather, it is so you can see your close friends and hang out, which can be done anytime and with a fun theme like the ones you enjoy employing. Re-reading it, it looks like it could be read the opposite way. Sorry!

Anonymous said...

I say celebrate what you want, when you want. Life doesn't have nearly enough moments that we honor and remember--and you don't need permission to throw a party.

Ingenue said...

How fun that you and my fiance share the same birthday! I've been regularly perusing Feed the Soil and 2000 Dollar Wedding for a few months now. Your ideas, projects, links and wit are always appreciated, useful and oh-so-practical in just the right ways! I really can't wait to see some photos of Coconut once he decides to show his wee face :o)

Michele said...

Well-- whatever you decide to do I have to say August 9th is an awesome birthdate.

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