Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm Pregnant!

So it looks like it's true! I am ecstatic and over-the-moon grateful for our luck. My heart goes out to my dear friends and lovely acquaintances who are waiting patiently for a baby to come to them. I'm thinking about you and wishing you well. 

Matt and I went from wanting only one child to wanting two children (spaced years! apart) to wanting a second child as soon as possible. Honestly, I think having two young children to take care of will push me to the very edge of my patience and capacity for nurturing, but I hope to remind myself that the days are the foundation for the years. I am honored to have the opportunity to bring two distinct beings into the world and provide them with a nurturing environment that helps them unfold into their fullest potential. 

I know it's early to be sharing the news. I want to clarify that I'm not sharing from a position of arrogance. I know that early pregnancies are fragile, and that the rate of miscarriage is dishearteningly high (I see reports of 20-30%). I know that one tiny thing could go wrong now, or later in the pregnancy, or at birth. 

If something does go wrong, I will also share it with you. I think the more we talk about miscarriage, the less isolating and lonely it might feel (as much as that's possible). As I tell people, I'm conscious of how I will also tell them if something goes wrong. For example, I would tell many of my friends via e-mail, so that I wouldn't breakdown in front of them. And, depending upon how I feel about it, I might add something like, "Please don't try to talk with me in person about this right now. I'm not quite ready. Thank you for your understanding."

In terms of preparation, Matt and I would like to attempt another homebirth, despite the fact that we had to transfer to the hospital with Henry. We've scheduled visits with different midwives to find someone who makes us extremely comfortable with her demeanor, approach, and level of expertise. 

One of the midwives we met with explained that the second pregnancy often goes by in a blur and that families don't often attend birthing classes again or slow down to savor the pregnancy. I definitely hope to be as intentional with this pregnancy as I was with Henry's. As a participant in the Purposeful Conception class, I've been brainstorming some of my intentions for the second pregnancy:
  • I want to make a more concerted effort to hang out with girlfriends in the evening without Henry or Matt. I'm missing that connection in my life.
  • I want to sign up for a photography class, so I stop using my digital camera on automatic.
  • I want to start curating furniture for the house we're building. I want to scour garage sales and second-hand shops.
  • I want to learn how to meditate.
  • I want to make more crafts. I've really fallen out of the habit since Henry was born. 
  • I want to follow my own advice for the first trimester, second trimester, and third trimester, including daily walks and naps. 
  • I want to take a hypnobirthing class.
  • I want to find a prenatal yoga class near the neighborhood we're moving to and intentionally cultivate connections with the other women in the class. 
  • Visit with a nutritionist to make sure I actively avoid a recurrence of cholestasis
  • Start going to acupuncture to support my liver function (which is related to avoiding cholestasis this time around).
Hmm...this post is reminding me of my Pregnancy Project Plan with Henry. I'm fine with not having a specific project plan; my list of next steps is perfect.

I will have to be careful about keeping everything balanced (e.g., my part-time job, publishing two books, building a house, writing a 250-page application to start a school, etc.) and to minimize stress as much as possible. I'm feeling good. I'll reference this list of intentions whenever I set my monthly goals.

P.S. According to internet calculations, the baby is due on January 14, 2013. That's eight months away! It's crazy how you're already a month pregnant by the time you can do a pregnancy test...



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35 comments:

Carrie said...

Congrats again, Sara! :)

Allyn said...

That's so awesome! My partner was so excited to tell everyone he knew that it was everything I could do to keep him from spilling until we had the 6 week ultrasound (you know, because pregnancy tests have false positives all the time, as if; but it's my first so I was a bit more nervous). So really, he only had to wait 10 days from when we found out to when I "let" him tell everyone.

We also told people early and we ended up getting a few slightly (not totally) negative responses. Mostly people were surprised because something could "go wrong." I even announced it on facebook at 6 weeks. But I truly believe that if I had a miscarriage, I would also announce that on facebook and tell people who knew. I really don't think that there is a shame surrounding miscarriages. I think that the more we talk about it, the more that those who have lost a child will feel more comfortable talking about their experience.

I think that it is also a regional thing. I grew up in the north and I remember a family friend who has a miscarriage. While it was a sad time, it was talked about and discussed. Now that I live in the south, I feel like there is much more of a culture of shame. I was told that you can't just *tell* people about miscarriage, you keep it inside and deal with it individually.

Anywho... sorry for all the sad talk. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. It's super exciting. I am due November 6 and have gone back through my notes from your Purposeful Conception course for more information.

Allyn said...

Oh, we are also planning a home birth with a midwife. I took a note from your blog earlier and I keep reminding myself that I have to "let things happen." I have a really hard time trusting people so I am working hard internally to build faith that my midwife will know what is best if something were to happen and we had to go to the hospital. She has a 5% hospital transfer rate, but of that 5% that went to the hospital, only 15% of those women went on to have c-sections. So I am trusting that she will have the wisdom that if we have to go to the hospital, I can still avoid a c-section. Ahh! But it's so hard to do that sometimes!

Atlady said...

I'm really happy for you. I have to admit though, that it always makes me a little (selfishly) sad congratulating people on their first successful attempt since I've been trying for a year. I hope some of the fertility can be spread around now!

Sara said...

Sara, I'm so excited for you and Matt and Henry! I know that your Purposeful Conception course helped me a TON to prepare for pregnancy, and now that our son is due in just one month, I'm so grateful for your coaching and support in having an intentional pregnancy! All the best to you and your family :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Sara!! How lucky for you to get pregnant on your very first try... TWICE!! I know you've mentioned having an irregular cycle before, do you mind sharing any of your secrets to success? Have you been charting? Temping? How you can be so sure when you ovulate?

Thanks! And congratulations again!

Bethany H said...

Congratulations, Sara!!!! :D
Sprinkle some of that baby dust my way. ;)

Stephanie said...

Wow! This is wonderful news! Congratulations Sara.

Catoctin Mountain Mama said...

Fantastic News!!! Congrats...take care of yourself, my head just spins when I think of all the things you are juggling.

Shawn said...

After the little sneak peak at the news yesterday, I was so happy to get to read all about it today! I'm wishing you all the best for everything to come - how exciting! Thanks for sharing your journey - it always gives me so much to think about in terms of where I would like my own journey to go.

Oh, and maybe you could combine your meeting people at yoga goal with your hanging out with girlfriends more goal. I totally relate because I recently relocated and I have been trying to find more ways to keep old friendships connected and to build new ones - it's challenging now that we are "adults" and don't have school built-in to facilitate it. Anyway, I'll be attempting this goal right along with you and thinking about you!

Anthropolochic said...

Congratulations!!!

I can appreciate you feeling tentative. I tested with very, very low hcg during my initial OBGYN appointments. I'm a little later in age so I was very nervous. My first OBGYN in this pregnancy had a habit of mentioning deep concerns and then dismissing my questions - which didn't help (I switched to someone more even keeled and responsive). To ease my worry, I took a page from your book and wrote a little note to my embryo. That helped a lot.

This is such an exciting time for you. I realize it is a lot of work, but I think it's really cool that you have unique projects planned and on the go during this time. Best wishes to you.

Jules said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Let me know what prenatal yoga classes you find- I am looking to also start one soon. Our babes will only be about 1-1 1/2 months apart! So happy for you and your family.

Ellen said...

Congratulations, Sara!

I got pregnant roughly around the same time as you--I'm at 6 weeks now (4 since conception). This is my first pregnancy, & your posts from your pregnancy with Henry have been a fabulous resource for me. I'll be excited to hear your updates this time around!

Laura said...

Hurrah! Congratulations! I'm so excited for you - and for us readers to be able to follow your pregnancy journey! I so enjoyed reading your trimester advice when I was pregnant. I was about 8 months behind you with my pregnancy. I'd love it if I ended up 8 months behind you again!

redfrizzz said...

Mazal Tov!!!
So glad to read you've chosen to home birth again! I hope the serendipitous character of this pregnancy is characteristic of this new little wonder!

Kerstin said...

Congratulations Sara and Matt (and Henry and Hoss and the chickens)! Your notes to your new family member are so sweet. Thank you for sharing, for being open, and for being the example you wish to see in the world.

Jennie said...

Congratulations Sara! I am over-the-moon, beyond excited for you! Such a blessing! And of course congratulations to Matt and to Henry on his very first sibling-in-the-making! I too, am nervous as heck about my patience for two little ones, but I can see that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and the benefits outweigh the short-term struggle. We can do it! (And I totally agree that second pregnancies seem like a blur ~ mostly because we already devote so much of our time and energy to our first baby, that there isn't as much 'spare' time to think about the baby-to-be!). Good luck and lots of love from all of us!

Julie R. said...

Huge congradulations from us on our little rock! And thank you for sharing your journey!
Jxx

Angela Mae said...

Congratulations!!

Kelly said...

Congratulations, Sara! I'm happy for you that things are working out just how you'd planned and hoped. It's very exciting to think about building a house for the newest member of the family!
Thanks for sharing your intentions - always inspiring. :)

Rachel said...

You really are blessed. Congrats!

Sara E. Cotner said...

@ Atlady: I totally honor your sadness. I'm wishing you the very best!

@ Anonymous: I'll share everything I did in a whole post. Thanks for the inspiration!

@ Sara: Hooray for you and your family!

@ Shawn: Yes, making friends as a grown up is pretty hard. I'll definitely post about my journey...

@ Julene: Yes! Let's definitely go to prenatal together. And then let's hang out at each other's houses when we have wee ones, okay? I'm going to need the company!

@ Bethany H: Consider it sprinkled!

@ Everyone: Thank you, thank you! Your support means to world to us.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations, Sara! I took a hypnobirthing class, though I had no experience with meditation before, and it was marvelous. Haven't had the baby yet, but I definitely feel the benefits of practicing deep breathing and focus on relaxation, which is a lot of what meditation is all about. Good luck with all your intentions!

MeggyMidwife said...

Congratulations, Sara and family! I took your Purposeful Conception course. We are still working on the conception project and getting a bit discouraged, so don't forget to revel in your luck at conceiving on your first try 2 times! I know you won't :)
If you are serious about learning to meditate, and you think you could spare 10 days away from Henry and Matt, I cannot recommend Vipassana meditation highly enough. The initial course is 10 days. It is free. It will change your life. AND it's really great for pregnant ladies as Vipassana babies are said to be little mellow Buddhas after there 10 day immersion in the technique. Personality-wise I think we have a lot in common (though I think you are more driven than me) and Vipassana really suited me. You should check out the Texas center: http://www.siri.dhamma.org/

All the best for a lovely pregnancy and birth!

MeggyMidwife said...

Ack! Re-reading my comment and I see one of my pet peeve grammatical errors snuck in! I mean "Vipassana babies are said to be little mellow Buddhas after THEIR 10 day immersion in the technique! Sorry, couldn't let that slide.

miss fancy pants (the bride) said...

Congratulations to you, Matt, and Henry! Such exciting news. Best wishes for a smooth pregnancy and delivery and here's to hoping you can do your best to reach many of the goals you've set out for yourself.

Stephanie said...

Congratulations!

Your friends touched by pregnancy loss and/or infertility might cry a few happy/sad tears.

From someone who knows.

Elaina said...

Congratulations Sara and Matt! I am looking forward to following along in this next part of your journey. All the best for this crazy and wonderful time for you all. How exciting!

Julie m said...

So happy for you!! I am also expecting and still living in Austin, we should try and meet up sometime- I'll send you an email soon...

Michele said...

I'm glowing with happiness for you.

Amy A. said...

Congratulations on this incredible news! Your "littlest one" is so lucky to have you and Matt for parents and Henry as a big brother. On a side note, I highly recommend HypnoBirthing. My husband and I took the classes and my daughter's birth was the most incredible 18 hours of my life!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!

Your due date is the week before mine (we also announced early, mostly because I'm very strongly in the grips of morning sickness/exhaustion already and there was no way I could keep it from my job) and two days from my birthday!

Part of me wishes I could fast forward out of the "scary" early stages, but I've realized that in pregnancy, just like life, there is no such thing as a "safe" stage. Something can always go wrong. So let us forge ahead without worry until we have reason to be!

Congratulations again, can't wait to follow this journey with you.

Emily said...

Huge congratulations and best wishes to you and your family. I am so happy for you!

And I couldn't agree more with your thoughts on sharing the news early, as well as how important it is to talk openly about miscarriage. Thank you!

Leah said...

Oh! Congrats!!! So happy for y'all! Best wishes for a wonderful pregnancy and birth!

Jessica Reyna Brogan said...

Yay! Congratulations! I'm pregnant with our first and due in early December...it'll be fun to follow along with your pregnancy :) Best wishes!

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