I've been experiencing sadness lately. I think part of it comes from all the pregnancy hormones. I think the other part of it comes from not getting all of my needs met. The last time I wrote out what I need on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis, here's what I came up with:
- Eight hours of sleep (Still important! I'm basically getting this need met, plus a 1.5-hour nap every day)
- Healthy meals (Yes, when my first-trimester stomach can handle it.)
- Plenty of water (Sadly, no; I need to step up my game!)
- Quality time with my family (Yes!)
- Time outside (Yes!)
- Meaningful and productive work with inspiring and engaging colleagues (Yes!)
- Time on my computer (Yes!)
- Exercise at least four times a week (Hm...not consistently. I have a plan; I just haven't been following through with it.)
- Time to myself (Yes.)
- Conversations with extended family and friends (Yes.)
- Time to create something (I have not prioritized this one.)
- A quirky and interesting event on our calendar (Not necessarily)
- A date night with Matt (Nope)
- A big vacation (Nope--can't afford it.)
- A couple self-development endeavors (conferences, retreats, etc.) (Nope--also can't afford it.)
Going through that list was really helpful. It seems that I'm actually getting a lot of my smaller needs met on a daily and weekly basis; I'm just struggling with the bigger needs. I think it's the bigger things (creating something, doing interesting things, traveling places, going on dates, etc.) that help me feel most like myself.
So what is holding me back from doing the bigger things? How come I'm not crafting? Why aren't we seeking out interesting things? Why aren't Matt and I going on date nights?
I know that I'm not going to conferences/retreats/etc. because of our budget limitations. That's also why we aren't planning fun and interesting vacations.
So what is in my circle of control? What can I specifically do to better meet my needs?
- Use the babysitting co-op to go on dates with Matt. This piece is very important and woefully missing from our life.
- Start planning a big vacation for 2014. We'll have two full-time incomes by then. For me, planning is half the fun, so getting started now might help lift my spirits.
- Plan to make something for the new baby.
- Clean and organize our current space. Our current rental house feels cluttered to me, and clutter makes me feel stuck and unmotivated.