Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Final Days

My "due date" is next Wednesday, but according to my due range, the baby could come at any time. I'm so relieved he made it to 39 weeks!
Unfortunately the supposed "nesting instinct" has not kicked in. Instead, the "oh-crap-I-am-officially-full-term-and-we-are-not-ready" realization kicked us into high gear. We got Henry's old infant car seat washed up and installed, ordered and organized all the supplies from the homebirth kit, hung Tate's first mobile, hung up the clothes in his closet (which are all stain-free, former Henry clothes), finalized our recipe binder so my mom has some go-to recipes to cook for our vegetarian/half-gluten-free family when she and my brother are here for ten days, typed up directions related to caring for Henry during the delivery (luckily our friends volunteered to care for our sweet pea), drafted the birth announcement, picked up our room to make it more conducive to post-birth relaxation and healing, ordered a bunch of things from Amazon (like lanolin and nursing pads), and stained our new couch legs so we can hit the ground running when our house is finally ready.
I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting, but that's all I've got right now.
I'm trying to let go of the fear I feel about the pain of birth. Henry's labor was 45 hours and it hurt for most of those hours. 
I don't like when people say, "But second births are so much easier!" because there's no guarantee. And the last thing I want to do is get my hopes up.
With Henry's birth, my mantras were things like, "My body was built to do this" and "Surrender." This time, my mantra is something like "This is the last time you have to do this."
Sheesh, writing this out makes me realize how cynical I'm feeling!
The truth is, I'm not as focused on the birth part as I was with Henry. This time, I'm focused on the infant part. I'm thinking about how to balance my need for healing with Tate's needs as a newborn with Henry's need for support through the transition with our needs to stay connected as a couple with my need to stay on top of developments at work--we'll get through it. We will.
As for the house, it looks like it will be done in mid-July. Although the timing won't be great, I've definitely stopped worrying about it.
I mainly spend a lot of time being grateful for our life and immensely thankful for another healthy pregnancy [insert some wood-knocking].

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Audrey Johnson said...

My goodness, Sara, you look so lovely in this post. Wishing you a peaceful, joyful birth experience!

-A said...

I'm so excited for your family to grow! I wish you a speedy delivery!

Marisa said...

Hi, Sara! First, I wanted to thank you for being the reason I was open to the idea of Montessori. My son is in an AMI-certified Montessori toddler program now and we're strongly considering keeping him in the school through adolescence. He sleeps on a floor bed and is growing up in an environment really suited to his size and needs, none of which we would have researched and adopted if not for your posts. We all thank you.

I also wanted to note how much I like the posts where you share your thought processes. Too often, in life and on blogs, we share the outcome without the reasoning behind what we have decided, and I find the insight into how you think through things has reinforced my own predilections for systems-based solutions. You and I have very different personalities and methods, but we're similar in understanding and accepting ourselves and our needs. So thanks for that.

Last - your house looks fabulous! I don't want to come across as a stalker, but I love the size and layout of the designs your architect offers so much, I've used them to explain what kind of home I'd want to build. You've also helped me realize that it's okay to dream big and want the ideal.

So, just a big ol' thanks and love to you post. You've made a difference in my life (and my family's) just by sharing yourself and we're very appreciative. Best thoughts and luck and good juju to you.

Carrie said...

It makes me so happy that you seem to have just let go and accepted that Tate is arriving STAT, and you're "ready enough", with sort of an "alright, let's do this thing" attitude! You seem NOT stressed out in this post. Yay!

Meghan said...

sending good thoughts your way during these final days. you look beautiful in these photos

Anonymous said...

You are glowing and ripe--simply gorgeous!

Irene Tan said...

Absolutely gorgeous! Good luck and blessings for the impending birth. You will have to let us know how you go xo

Irene Tan said...

Also Sara not sure if you have considered or have used a TENS machine? I found it invaluable during my labour.

Anonymous said...

So exciting! Am getting near to full term too (33 + weeks now) and am scrambling to get everything on my list done for the baby (making clothes, mobiles...etc). Looking at all you've done so far, I would suppose that you've been in constant nesting mode haha. Remember to take care of yourself and get plenty of rest for the big event!

Michele said...

Thinking of you as you get closer and closer!

Sarah said...

I love your dress! Would you mind sharing where it's from? I only want to wear dresses while pregnant this summer.

Sara E. Cotner said...

Thank you so much for all the well-wishes, everyone!

And, Marisa, it's great to "see" you around these parts! I hope you're doing well. I really appreciate your heartfelt comments.

Sarah, I got the dress at Old Navy last year when I was pregnant for the second time (before the miscarriage). I actually don't recommend such long dresses in the summer; it's quite hot!

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