Monday, September 16, 2013

The Aftermath

There's so much swirling around in my head; I'm not exactly sure where to begin. The real problem is that I'm not sure what the main idea of this post is. I have no idea where I'm trying to end up, so I don't know which direction to go.
When I was 16 my first job was working at a science museum, and I rotated to a new station every 30 minutes. One of my stations was the hurricane machine. It was a room with glass walls. People would enter with ear muffs and take their seats. There was a gauge on the wall and it would show how the wind was slowly increasing. It started with a light breeze. Kite weather. And then it would inch its way up to a category hurricane. Chunks of foam would blow around like crazy.
After a minute or two, the wind would start to die down and return to a calm spring day.
Life feels like it's inching its way back to a calm spring day. Before I sat down to type this, I put away the dishes that were done drying in the sink. I picked up several of Henry's toys and returned them to the shelves. I wiped down the entire kitchen island, and put away all the paraphernalia that had gathered from the weekend (Tate's bathing suit and hat, our camera, Henry's school bag). I'm still stressed about finding childcare during an important call I have tomorrow, but that's a lot less crazy than everything that was on my plate last week.
Several of my favorite bloggers dropped off the edge of the Earth when they gave birth to their second children. I didn't want to follow in their footsteps. But giving birth to a house, a baby, and hopefully a school has kind of done me in.
I have so much to say about dwelling in possibility and making it happen. I think I'll wait until we officially hear word about the charter. The interview went better than I ever could have imagined.

After the interview I had to attend a fundraising event. And then the next morning I had a six-hour meeting to work on a grant application. And there are still boxes piled three-feet high in Tate's room.

But everything feels right with the world. I am so happy with the trajectory we are on. I'm so happy that we had a second child and bought this land and built this house. (Of course there's not a week that goes by that I don't think about the millions of things that are out of my control that could go wrong at any minute. I acknowledge those things as part of my gratitude practice, but I try not to let them make me feel overwhelmed or anxious.)

I'm looking forward to everything settling down throughout the rest of September. Hopefully everything will be in a good place by the beginning of October.

Are you still out there? How are you doing?

P.S. The photo was taken down by the creek that runs along the bottom of our property. (Honesty Time: The Instagram filter masks a lot of the trash that's down there and the evidence of homeless camps. But still! It's beautiful.)

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Anthropolochic said...

Still here. Still reading. Dropped off the earth last week as well with a dangerously sick baby. She's getting better, and now I'm back to checking up on fave blogs, amongst other things :)

I think you have had such a blockbuster year - new baby, happy toddler, a school, a house - all of the things you note here. There are likely many you haven't discussed. The tone of your blog is such that I think it attracts a reading audience that understands a missed post, or even a mini-hiatus. I think a lot of us are interested in the same efforts. That said, you still managed to bang out posts during what must have been a crazy busy month. Very impressive.

Sara E. Cotner said...

Hi, Anthropolochic! It's always good to see you around these parts. I'm so sorry to hear about your sick baby, although I'm glad that she's on the mend. Wising you all well!

Shawn said...

Congratulations on moving into the house and moving forward with the school! Can't wait to hear more about how the home turned out. All the best to your family!

Jillian Alcaro said...

Can I put an instagram filter on my life???

Suzuki said...

Hi Sara,
I'm expanding my music program into a commercial space, building a house, selling another and raising a toddler, and THAT'S overwhelming. I can't imagine adding a new baby to the mix! Reading your posts is the thing that reminds me I can do it! I know some of this will settle down eventually (e.g, the house will be built/we'll move in, the other house will sell, and the school will be up and running) and I am looking forward to that time very much! In the meantime, I am practicing gratitude, as you say.
Good work! You are doing great things.

Sara E. Cotner said...

Thanks, Shawn!

Jillian, I know, right?

Awesomeness, Suzuki! It feels so great to know that there are a bunch of us out there making it happen for ourselves. Hooray!

Lea Shell said...

Glad to hear that you're pulling through! I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my first and preparing for maternity leave (yikes!); while my partner is starting his PhD. That stream is wonderful - what a great opportunity for discovery!

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