Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Go Out and Make It Happen for Yourself!

As I mentioned earlier this week, I've been informally coaching some of my friends to help them figure out what they want to do next in their lives. 

One of my friends just found out that she got her dream job! It's been a long journey, but I am so, so proud of her. 

It started last July at my Reflection & Rejuvenation Retreat. We spent time envisioning what we wanted in our lives, and my friend explained that she really want to move with her family to a different state, and she wanted to work at a very particular place in a particular city. 

Usually, the envisioning part is the hardest. I usually have to coach people about how to get over their fear/parallelization/indecision and just choose a path. There are so many possible paths for each of us; we can't waste too much time trying to find our One Authentic Path (just like there is more than one awesome Life Partner for each of us). 

So it seemed pretty easy when my friend already had everything figured out for herself. I said, "Great! So make it happen!" And that's when she explained that it was nearly impossible because they never have positions available. 

Through the years, I have found that you can't take no for an answer too quickly if you want to create or build something for yourself. We then started to work on the idea that she could propose a new position for herself. The first step in the process was to help my friend realize that she had nothing to lose. She already didn't have a job! What were the real risks associated with putting herself out there? Just embarrassment and insecurity. And those are not real risks. 

So she crafted a possible job for herself and reached out to her dream work place. I have found that so much can happen when you reach out to someone with genuine effusiveness. It was easy to do in my friend's case because she felt so passionate about working at that particular place. 

Long story short, it was a very long and difficult process (10 months!) to get from that initial e-mail to a bona fide job offer. There were many, many times when she felt like they were not interested and minimally interested because they weren't following up. I kept pushing her to go back to them (in a friendly, not annoying, way). I kept reminding her that she would be an amazing asset to their team, that she had so much to bring to their organization, and that she had nothing to lose. 

I know intimately how it feels to feel insecure. To feel unsure. To feel under-qualified. It's not usually easy to do something big. But you have to persist. You have to flex your courage muscle and make yourself do it. It's worth it! 

Photo courtesy of Hank + Tank Photography (my husband)

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Meredith said...

Ahhhh wow, thank you so much for posting this--I *really* needed to read something like this. Wonderful insight, as usual :)

Sara E. Cotner said...

Awww...thanks, Meredith! I'm so glad it was helpful. I'm really proud of my friend!

Kate said...

Just chiming in to say that I loved being at your Reflection & Rejuvenation Retreat and that I'm also following through on several of the things we talked about. Huzzah for beautiful, inspiring spaces to be thoughtful in and wise, caring support networks to help you make it to the finish line!

Sara E. Cotner said...

Oh, Kate! That is so awesome to hear! Thank you for making my day!

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