During our weekend date, Matt and I talked about the “One Thing” we each wanted the other person to work on in our marriage. Matt wants me to work on making more time to hang out with each other in the evening. I can get so focused on my work (and enjoy it a lot); it can leave him feeling left out.
As a side note, we are saving up money for an inexpensive hot tub. I did an experiment last winter where every day I would ask, “If we had a hot tub, would you want to go in it right now?” Our answer was most often “yes.” My idea is that a hot tub is an awesome way to connect with one’s partner. For us, it’s different than playing games because games require a lot of thought and aren’t the most relaxing. It’s different than watching TV or a movie because it involves talking to each other. Long story short, I’m looking forward to saving up enough money to get an inexpensive hot tub to facilitate connection. In the meantime, we’ve decided to try turning out the light 30 minutes earlier than we normally would, so that we leave more time to talk. If we turn the light off exactly at bedtime, we end up feeling like we shouldn’t talk too long or else we’ll be exhausted in the morning.
My “one thing” for Matt is for him to keep our kitchen counter clean. He tends to use it as a “landing pad” for miscellaneous things, and the clutter makes me feel stressed.
I think I’ll add our “one thing” items to a list that we revisit occasionally. When we feel like we’ve each mastered the “one thing” that was asked of us, we can tackle another item!